Shadowland (The Immortals, Book 3) - Alyson Noël Damen is one of the most annoying guy characters I have ever read about.

Quote #1: "You mean you were spying on me?" I gape, hoping it wasn't nearly as creepy as it sounds. "When I was a KID?"
He cringes, averting his gaze when he says, "No, not spying, Ever. Please. What do you take me for?" he laughs and shakes his head. " It was more like - keeping tabs. Patiently waiting until the time was right. "

Oh. So that makes it okay, does it?! That makes it less creepy, does it?! That you're 600 years old and have been watching your girlfriend since she was in diapers so you could keep 'tabs' on her - like her fave snacks, her underwear colour and what her first puppy's name was.

Quote #2: "Ever, I can always sense when you're near."

This quote explains itself.

Quote #3: "As you wish." He smiles....STOP THIS QUOTE!!!!


He. Stole. Wesley's. LINE!!


I will now divide up the book under several headings:

Part 1: Damen and Ever Talk About Their Feelings
Part 2: Ever Demands That They Talk About Their Feelings
Part 3: We Spend Precious Time Freaking Out Over The Fact Damen Bought A New Car
Part 4: You Are Left To Make Sense of WHY Ever Is Still Freaking Out Over Him Buying A New Car
Part 5: Ever Gets a Job - Her Boss Is Hot
Part 6: Predictability Sets In! Damen Is JEALOUS!
Part 7: Roman's British Accent Appreciation
Part 8: Playback of 'Damen and Ever Talk About Their Feelings'
Part 9: Ever Sings Rendition of Celine Dion's "All By Myself"
Part 10: You Put Down the Book To Drown Your Sorrows in Apple Juice
Part 11: Damen and Ever Talk About Cats
Part 12: Heeeeeeeeeeeey Juuuuuuuuuuuuude!
Part 13: Shit goes down
Part 14: Ever Thinks About Her Feelings
*Part 15: They Kiss

*Part 15 is repeated throughout the book, between bouts of 'feelings'.